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View Full Version : 24 Hours of Lemons- Team T.A.R.P.



Graystroke
12-11-2008, 12:22 AM
T.A.R.P. - Toxic Asset Racing Program
Team # 700,000,000,000 or 700 billion
Our Sponsors: Countrywide, Lehman Brothers, WaMu, Indy Mac, etc.and any other defunct bank
The Car: 1989 Toyota MR2

I went by there tonight to see if we could get it running. The guys house it is at (pat) bought it off Craigslist here in Dallas. When he bought it the Lady said, "Oh by the way you also get the one out back." So for $200 we have two non-running MR2's...One for parts, ebaying and the other to race. The plan is to haul down the parts car to the race so we have our own pit stall parts store...Genius!
The story from PO was that Jiffy Lube place left off the oil cap and the oil was blown out. There is a lot of oil on the engine. Some of the wiring was melted that ran over the valve cover. Also, the dist cap was melted at the base where it rested on the metal.
My synopsis is it got way over heated. I checked the timing to make sure the timing belt hadn't jumped or was broken. It was ok.

Checked the compression...no bueno. #1 had 0 PSI, #2 had 0 PSI, #3 had maybe 30 PSI and #4 had 40 PSI. It's a gonner.

When doing the test and when I checked #4, smoke came out of #3 spark plug hole. There was so much blow by that it was coming up # 3 I guess....whith the plugs in it spins freely. I didn't see any valves that appeared stuck so I guess the rings are shot or there are holes in the pistons.

So we need a new motor. I would like to find another MR2tranny/motor and just swap out the whole drivetrain...it's kinda built like a complicated VW bug. 4 bolts and the whole mess drops out underneath.

So if any of you see a cheap 1.6L 16 valve yota motor let me know...I think they are the same from 85-89. They came in Camry's and Corolas also.

MR2 #2 (parts car) is completely locked up. I put in the new battery and cranked it and it just clicked. We stuck it in gear and pushed it down the alley and I popped the clutch in 4th dear and the wheels locked up...so this one is in need of a motor as well. it does have some sweet leather seats though!:)

Jackasic
12-11-2008, 09:21 AM
sounds like a good start, post up some pics.

Graystroke
12-11-2008, 09:23 AM
you first

Graystroke
12-11-2008, 09:30 AM
http://tarpblog.net/

BMFScout
12-15-2008, 05:44 PM
Go get this instead, paint it silver, make the doors open like a delorean and go back to the future style.

http://dallas.craigslist.org/mdf/pts/959213015.html

probably could just shave the head, slap it back together and go to town.

Graystroke
12-15-2008, 06:18 PM
bought another one...85 mr2 w/ jdm spec motor...kid was desperate and it runs. now we have 3 mr2's selling blue one, keeping red one for parts.

Graystroke
12-15-2008, 06:18 PM
Go get this instead, paint it silver, make the doors open like a delorean and go back to the future style.

http://dallas.craigslist.org/mdf/pts/959213015.html

probably could just shave the head, slap it back together and go to town.


buy it...i like those engine sits north and south

Graystroke
12-17-2008, 09:09 PM
Our application rough draft:

We’re an incompetent racing team, and that’s why you owe us a spot at the Houston Gator-O-Rama. Yep, owe us.

Let us explain. In normal times, incompetence limits your options. These are not normal times. Normally, companies that lend gazillions of dollars to homebuyers who couldn’t afford the mortgage on a lean-to would just go broke. Normally, credit-rating agencies that labeled high-risk mortgages as high-quality mortgages would go straight to Chapter 7 bankruptcy. But these days, companies like these don’t die; they get government bailouts. The bailouts even have a fancy acronym: TARP, for Toxic Assets Relief Program. If that sounds more like camping equipment for a Superfund site than a business failure of staggering proportions, it’s no accident. These days, incompetence is no bar to success. In fact, it’s a prerequisite.

So let’s just make this clear: Toxic Assets Racing Program—TARP, for short—is a chockablock with incompetent people. True stories:

1) One of our drivers got stranded halfway off a road because he was sure his Oldsmobile Toronado had rear-wheel drive. (It didn’t.)

2) For a couple of years, another driver mistakenly drove to Home Depot every time he got behind the wheel. (His 2-year-old daughter used to get in the car and say, “Home Depot, here we come!”)

3) Still another one can’t drive a stick. (And our TARP car is a standard.)

4) Yet another driver’s greatest claim to vehicular fame is destroying road construction signs in a Willys Wagon. (Road signs, it turns out, are no match for a 52 hp four-banger.)

5) And still another one once bought a VW with an “automatic stick shift.” (Enough said.)

To honor our fellow incompetents in the financial world, the TARP car will look like a Nextel Cup Car with logos of bailout companies tattooed on its skanky Toyota MR2 body. Our number? $700 billion, the amount of the federal bailout. When we lose, it won’t matter; we’re too big to fail. So we expect you to throw us a big party with champagne and caviar, hand us a bigger payout than you give the so-called winners, and award us pole position at the next race. What will we do in return? Look like we know what we’re doing and wear ties. That’s the wild world of TARP, and that theme is the only competent thing about our racing team.

Don’t hold that against us. We can give you many more reasons why you owe losers like us a spot in the race: 700 billion of them. And counting.

DRAGOONRANCH
12-17-2008, 09:31 PM
:laughing:

gold

Jackasic
12-17-2008, 09:46 PM
good form!

uglyota
12-18-2008, 09:55 AM
are you sure you don't want to apply as "team neo-conservative crybaby"

FJAggie07
12-18-2008, 11:03 AM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/elf_of_doriath9/non-icon%20randomness/its_a_tarp.gif

jerryg79
12-18-2008, 02:49 PM
Our application rough draft:

We’re an incompetent racing team, and that’s why you owe us a spot at the Houston Gator-O-Rama. Yep, owe us.

Let us explain. In normal times, incompetence limits your options. These are not normal times. Normally, companies that lend gazillions of dollars to homebuyers who couldn’t afford the mortgage on a lean-to would just go broke. Normally, credit-rating agencies that labeled high-risk mortgages as high-quality mortgages would go straight to Chapter 7 bankruptcy. But these days, companies like these don’t die; they get government bailouts. The bailouts even have a fancy acronym: TARP, for Toxic Assets Relief Program. If that sounds more like camping equipment for a Superfund site than a business failure of staggering proportions, it’s no accident. These days, incompetence is no bar to success. In fact, it’s a prerequisite.

So let’s just make this clear: Toxic Assets Racing Program—TARP, for short—is a chockablock with incompetent people. True stories:

1) One of our drivers got stranded halfway off a road because he was sure his Oldsmobile Toronado had rear-wheel drive. (It didn’t.)

2) For a couple of years, another driver mistakenly drove to Home Depot every time he got behind the wheel. (His 2-year-old daughter used to get in the car and say, “Home Depot, here we come!”)

3) Still another one can’t drive a stick. (And our TARP car is a standard.)

4) Yet another driver’s greatest claim to vehicular fame is destroying road construction signs in a Willys Wagon. (Road signs, it turns out, are no match for a 52 hp four-banger.)

5) And still another one once bought a VW with an “automatic stick shift.” (Enough said.)

To honor our fellow incompetents in the financial world, the TARP car will look like a Nextel Cup Car with logos of bailout companies tattooed on its skanky Toyota MR2 body. Our number? $700 billion, the amount of the federal bailout. When we lose, it won’t matter; we’re too big to fail. So we expect you to throw us a big party with champagne and caviar, hand us a bigger payout than you give the so-called winners, and award us pole position at the next race. What will we do in return? Look like we know what we’re doing and wear ties. That’s the wild world of TARP, and that theme is the only competent thing about our racing team.

Don’t hold that against us. We can give you many more reasons why you owe losers like us a spot in the race: 700 billion of them. And counting.

Man if they are economists, they will spit coffee all over their new york times!!!

You receive a D-, no penis jokes:rolleyes:

uglyota
12-18-2008, 03:23 PM
to the old man's credit, he did call the MR-2 "skanky." :laughing:

Cajun
12-18-2008, 03:25 PM
are you sure you don't want to apply as "team neo-conservative crybaby"

Come on, that was funny.

uglyota
12-18-2008, 03:27 PM
my bad, i don't smiley well before my second cup of coffee. here's 2 to make it better :D:D
:madgrin:

Reckless
12-20-2008, 05:12 PM
Running RX-7 $400

http://abilene.craigslist.org/cto/951211558.html

Graystroke
12-28-2008, 05:49 PM
one of the guys on the team is a writer for Spirit Magazine. Anyways if we didn't get in we were to use the mag angle to have them re-think our app. funny.

On Dec 21, 2008, at 12:29 PM, Brad Cope wrote:




Hi there, Jay. I’m with Southwest Airlines’ magazine, Spirit. We talked a couple of weeks ago about me entering the Houston race in February and running a story on the 24 Hours in a future issue of the magazine. You asked me to let you know when we got our entry in. And we finally did–before the deadline, mind you.
So here’s the heads-up: Our team name is Toxic Assets Racing Program, and our head honcho is a guy named Pat Mulry.
Just let me know if you need anything.

Thanks!
Brad Cope

Spirit magazine
Executive editor

Reply from head honcho jay:
Hey, Brad:

Well, they would’ve gotten in with the TARP idea no matter what…. In any case, as you may or may not have heard by now, the team was accepted. My heaven have mercy on your souls.

Just lemme know if there’s anything else I can help with, look forward to seeing you there–Cheerz, JL

BMFScout
12-30-2008, 03:20 PM
http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/pts/971725051.html

$500 94 camaro!!

robertf03
12-30-2008, 03:25 PM
i'd be armed for that transaction

davido
12-31-2008, 03:35 AM
Cool! It's going to be fun. I think everyone got in. I'm not sure. I guess they're not going to take anyone off the list until everyone is paid anyway.

Jackasic
12-31-2008, 09:42 AM
I know some guys that were wait listed, though it looks like most are in. I am with Dave, should be fun!

Graystroke
01-28-2009, 10:50 PM
we have track time! The magazine guy said he would plug MSR in exchange for track time. owner agreed.
www.tarpblog.net

Graystroke
02-02-2009, 01:15 AM
busy weekend. built the roll cage, mounted the racing seat and all of its goodies, and I built a super ghetto exhaust cluged together w/ vatozone adapters, old MR2 exhaust pieces and a cherry bomb that I found in the shop.
One of the guys went crazy w/ the plazma and all of the doors, frunk, trunk, and engine cover are thin floppy sheetmetal.
We're hoping that it comes in under 2000 lbs.
I can pick up the front end by myself. It's a 185 hp go cart.

uglyota
02-02-2009, 11:20 AM
when are you douchebags gonna post up some pictures?!

DRAGOONRANCH
02-02-2009, 12:33 PM
when are you douchebags gonna post up some pictures?!

R

:flipoff2:

Graystroke
02-02-2009, 11:21 PM
when are you douchebags gonna post up some pictures?!
if you follow the link you can see all the pics dumbass
www.tarpblog.net

Graystroke
02-05-2009, 10:53 PM
bump. check it out. more pics up.

uglyota
02-06-2009, 09:45 AM
I see a picture of a cawkpit cam and a shatty pic of a hood. Is there a photo album somewhere?

BMFScout
02-06-2009, 10:26 AM
most of the pics are under the Mega-Uber Mega-Weekend Update post, click "read more"

uglyota
02-06-2009, 10:47 AM
hey check this out guys, more pics are up!
http://tarpblog.net/2009/02/03/mega-uber-mega-weekend-update/#more-289
;)

Graystroke
02-06-2009, 10:20 PM
I'm sorry I figured al gore taught you how to use the internet.

Graystroke
02-10-2009, 08:58 PM
hippy, there is a sound bite of the exhaust that I welded up. I think the cherry bomb came from the RJ and Ashley Lynn move back in '03? some vatozone 90*'s, tip, left over vintage MR2 u bend pipe.
We have track time this weekend at MSR in Cresson.
http://tarpblog.net/
scroll down and look for the play button

uglyota
02-11-2009, 10:07 AM
nice and rice...sounds like a fisher price chainsaw! :flipoff2:
sweet that you got it running!

BMFScout
02-26-2009, 06:33 PM
I think the door diagonal on Grayson's cage is too low...discuss. :flipoff2:

Graystroke
02-26-2009, 09:57 PM
that's w/ the seat all the way forward. it's much better w/ the seat back. there was actually quite a bit of talk where to put the diagonal. we ran a FEA program and did a couple of side impact test, etc, etc. when it came down to it we decided that it should just come to the top of the sides of the seat bolsters. the reason: so your crack isn't impailed w/ those bolsters upon entering the car. :)

Graystroke
03-02-2009, 09:05 AM
car broke at about noon on sunday. at about lap 60 (3hrs in) we had first place. then we dropped to 7th and back to 17th after a couple of black flags. another black flag and we were at 31st at the end of day one. Sunday we ran for about 1 1/2 hrs until the drivers half shalf exploded at the transaxle. I wouldn't be surprised if the bolts were looses from the get go. The guy who bought the car/formed the team, said the PO had worked on that. why you wouldn't check the cv's before an endurance race is beyond me. the part were the joint slides in the housing completely sheared off. oh well.

uglyota
03-02-2009, 05:55 PM
you sound upset...did you not drink enough?

Seth
03-02-2009, 07:29 PM
Grayson, that photo shoot thing yall did was looking pretty ridiculous. I can't believe I didn't take a pic of them taking pics!

Graystroke
03-02-2009, 10:44 PM
you sound upset...did you not drink enough?

you would have to hear the whole story. apparently handmade aluminum hood pins took priority...not joking.

Graystroke
03-02-2009, 10:49 PM
Grayson, that photo shoot thing yall did was looking pretty ridiculous. I can't believe I didn't take a pic of them taking pics!

how so? ....I'm sure you could imagine that the whole story is tongue and cheek. oh well, 3 million readers will see it.

Graystroke
03-02-2009, 10:51 PM
you sound upset...did you not drink enough?

i drank plenty. I was at jay(head honcho's b-day party). St Arnolds had a car sponsored in the race and provided a few kegs of free beer. amber is good

jerryg79
03-02-2009, 11:11 PM
i drank plenty. I was at jay(head honcho's b-day party). St Arnolds had a car sponsored in the race and provided a few kegs of free beer. amber is good

texas wheat is better:gigem:

Graystroke
03-02-2009, 11:44 PM
texas wheat is better:gigem:

i think it was amber...it was hoppy like an IPA. I like IPA's...get happy much quicker on IPA

davido
03-02-2009, 11:59 PM
So where are the pro photo shoot pics?

J Cooper
03-03-2009, 12:08 AM
Grayson, that photo shoot thing yall did was looking pretty ridiculous. I can't believe I didn't take a pic of them taking pics!

??

Graystroke
03-03-2009, 07:14 PM
that camera girl on the right w/ the flash made some funny faces when she was getting the flash in the right position and waiting for it to go off. i kept giggling

Seth
03-03-2009, 08:03 PM
Thank you coop! What is that shirt Grayson - Viagra?

Graystroke
03-03-2009, 09:40 PM
Thank you coop! What is that shirt Grayson - Viagra?

seriously seth, are you the guy someone has to explain the punch line to? did you not notice the race suits w/ heathcliff kitty litter? or how about the sponsors on the side of the car that are either defunct or recieved tarp money....
pssst it was a joke.

dang your sharp to had figured that out!

jerryg79
03-03-2009, 09:53 PM
seriously seth, are you the guy someone has to explain the punch line to? did you not notice the race suits w/ heathcliff kitty litter? or how about the sponsors on the side of the car that are either defunct or recieved tarp money....
pssst it was a joke.

dang your sharp to had figured that out!

or it was just really lame!

Graystroke
03-03-2009, 10:06 PM
or it was just really lame!

that too. maybe seth needs to be explained that in any race that there are random black flags, that you may have to shave one leg dry, or maybe the fact that they can weld random farm animals onto your car, may be considered ridiculous as well.

Graystroke
03-03-2009, 10:08 PM
So where are the pro photo shoot pics?

i dunno...maybe they are all Copyrighted?
the story is suppose to be out in August i think.

Graystroke
03-03-2009, 11:03 PM
some pics of the car..the rest of the race pics are like all the others already posted so I will just bore you w/ these :)

DRAGOONRANCH
03-03-2009, 11:09 PM
I thought the car # was supposed to be $700,000,000,000 and not $7 hundred billion. Way to really stick it to the man... :rolleyes:











































:flipoff3:

Jackasic
03-03-2009, 11:20 PM
http://vimeo.com/3446240

Graystroke
03-03-2009, 11:51 PM
http://vimeo.com/3446240

awesome, I'm glad someone got it on video. for those who weren't there...the audi was the one w/ the two fronts (grill and side mirrors on the rear) and a dummy helmet in the back on the pass side flipping you off. if you watch the rearview you can see the finger every once in a while. it was on some kind of pendulum (sp) I was told that that team backed the car into tech w/ the driver flipping them off. ***!

Seth
03-04-2009, 08:55 PM
seriously seth, are you the guy someone has to explain the punch line to? did you not notice the race suits w/ heathcliff kitty litter? or how about the sponsors on the side of the car that are either defunct or recieved tarp money....
pssst it was a joke.

dang your sharp to had figured that out!

No, No, Yes. I am aware. Still not sure what the shirt you were wearing said or how it tied in. Perhaps I hit a nerve? Promise I am the same guy that talked to you in person, maybe I just don't convey the same over the interweb.

Seth
03-04-2009, 08:56 PM
maybe seth needs to be explained

?? No maybe about it, figuring out how to do it, that's another story.

Graystroke
03-08-2009, 12:39 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neOSQySl8ik&feature=channel

the first driver is the girl and she shows truly how fast the car was. I think all it needed was a brake biasing knob and it would have been better.
there are three videos. the guy who doesn't shift is my brother-in-law. he didn't know how to drive stick. you get a glimps of terrets (aka kollins lost brother :) ) when the guy in the blue suit is flagged and he starts screaming in the car while in the penalty box.

Agrvr
03-08-2009, 09:35 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neOSQySl8ik&feature=channel

you get a glimps of terrets (aka kollins lost brother :) ) when the guy in the blue suit is flagged and he starts screaming in the car while in the penalty box.

:D effin' lawyers

davido
03-09-2009, 06:33 PM
Holy hell your car was fast! She had no qualms with getting DEEP into "turn 1" (I think this actually 17 or something on the track). That Trackmate and Chase Cam setup is the teets. I'm guessing "red gloves = me no drive stick." "I've been black flagged and I don't know why." I will not be four off. I will not be four off. I... :D

The old red beemer driver was out at TWS Sunday. His Miata was running hot on him. He said that he's tired of working on stuff, he just wants to drive. I feel your pain brutha'.

davido
03-09-2009, 06:59 PM
She definitely added a whole 'nother level of flogging it compared to the other sunday drivers.

Graystroke
03-09-2009, 07:40 PM
She definitely added a whole 'nother level of flogging it compared to the other sunday drivers.

it liked 7,000 RPM...when you hear it hitting the rev limter that's 8K RPM! i tried telling everyone that the way to pass was to out brake every one and make it stick in that corner. When Sam (girl ringer driver) was driving she would pass about 2-3 cars before the corner, maintain position through the corner and pass at least three more before the tires. At lap 34 she was 3rd and then some time after that she was first through lap 60 something.

I think I may try and recruit her for the Stude. girls like old iron!

davido
03-10-2009, 12:32 AM
Except that she'll hate driving that car. As it was she was out driving the MR2. What is she use to driving?

Graystroke
03-10-2009, 02:45 PM
miata

Lynda
03-10-2009, 03:37 PM
miata

Sorry David, your married :)

davido
03-10-2009, 11:23 PM
That's quite the performance machine. :) Not interested anyway. No motor in the back of that Honda.

DRAGOONRANCH
03-11-2009, 12:49 AM
:laughing:

Graystroke
08-01-2009, 09:27 PM
http://www.spiritmag.com/features/article/lap_dogs/

i'm famous
and the shop is famous

Reckless
08-02-2009, 01:34 AM
thats bad ass!

BMFScout
08-02-2009, 01:51 AM
ill be on an swa flight in a few hours, ill steal a few issues

mark
08-03-2009, 06:55 AM
He seemed more interested in the Bikini Racer Team. I must admit that Anna does fill out a race suit quite well.

-Mark

uglyota
08-03-2009, 12:11 PM
I snagged a copy yesterday...good article! Congrats!